CLASSIC CATFIGHT: Yvonne Craig vs. Ann Margret (Bel Air, 1962) by Jackflash

Resplendent in a floral print bikini, Ann-Margret stepped into the large living room from her guest bedroom amid a roar of approval from the spectators. Invitations to her exclusive catfights had become prized symbols of status among the LA jet set, and tonight's audience was the cream of the West Coast crop. She was facing a relative unknown tonight,a woman who nonetheless had some prominent patrons who'd gotten her this match with the Swedish redhead. Ann had heard of Yvonne Craig before, but had never seen her in action. Still, she wasn't about to underestimate her simply because she was unfamiliar. After all, she once had been an unknown and it worked in her favor when she won her first match against an experienced...and overconfident, Mitzi Gaynor!

One look at Yvonne, and Ann knew she was right not to dismiss her out of hand. The brunette had short, pixieish hair and cat-like eyes that hinted at a penchant for cruelty. Her body, like Ann's, was perfectly toned. Ann knew she'd been a dancer like Ann. Clad in a black bikini, Yvonne moved with a panther's grace to the center of the room where the women got their final instructions. The match was to a verbal submission or until the ombudsman declared one couldn't continue. Weapon's weren't allowed, but otherwise it was anything goes!

At the signal to begin, they began to cautiously circle looking for an opening to strike. Ann had the experience to know not to rush into the first apparent opportunity, but she hoped Yvonne lacked that wisdom. So, feinting to her right, Ann seemingly left herself open for an attack, wondering if her opponent would take the bait.

Yvonne did...but she wasn't as naive as Ann expected. She gave a feint of her own, twisting her body at the last instant and Ann's attempt to grab her arm failed, leaving the redhead truly open for a sudden kneelift to the stomach. Ann grunted from the unexpected blow, then felt a new burst of pain as Yvonne grabbed her wrist and twisted the redhead's arm up behind her into a hammerlock. Gritting her teeth, Ann tried to reach back with her free hand, but Yvonne leaned back, keeping just out of reach and Ann slapped her shoulder, trying to numb it and ease the pain while her mind ran through several methods of escape.

For all of the canniness displayed in her opening gambit, it was at this point that Yvonne's inexperience betrayed her. A more veteran fighter would have known not to apply such a hold for too long, because it gave an opponent time to devise a counter but the brunette continued to hold Ann's arm in the hammerlock, confident she had Ann trapped and helpless...which is why her look of total shock was sincere as Ann suddenly bent forward at the waist, grabbed Yvonne behind the left knee and tripped her to the floor.

After breaking the hammerlock, however, Ann needed to keep Yvonne on the floor until the spasms of pain eased in her arm, so she began stomping on the brunette's luscious body, her foot driving again and again into Yvonne's belly and breasts, evening landing a kick to her head. It was all the novice Yvonne could do to ward off most of the blows with her hands and arms as the redhead expertly aimed her kicks to keep her for from rolling away to safety.

But what Ann didn't anticipate was Yvonne suddenly catching her foot and, then with a twist, knocking the Swede off-balance and to the floor. Wisely rolling away to the far side of the room to gather her wits, Yvonne slowly got to her feet and cautiously approached Ann who was just as wary in approaching her. The early moments of the match had been a time of testing, and now an unspoken challenge was leveled as Yvonne gave Ann a sly smile. In a sudden flash of moment, her perfect leg flashed thru the air, the ball of her foot catching Ann square in the jaw! Her head snapped hard to the side, and she brought her hand up to her chin to rub the sudden ache away, glaring at her rival, who stood smirking, hands on her hips, silently daring her to do better.

Taking up Yvonne’s challenge, Ann suddenly unleashed a kick that caught Yvonne square in the pit of her stomach, then she followed with another to her left breast that sent Yvonne stumbling back with a yelp. Now it was Ann's turn to smirk.

What came next was a magnificent duel between two superb Amazons, their perfectly-conditioned legs striking like cobras. Ann focused much of her attack on Yvonne’s ample bosom, her flashing feet drawing pained mewls each time a blow landed. Yvonne continued to target Ann’s angelic face, her foot thumping like a piston time and again. The battering took a toll on both beauties, yet they refused to retreat as their duelling gams had become a matter of pride for both women.

The kicking contest continued until Yvonne grabbed Ann's right ankle in both hands as her foot came up toward the brunette's bruised bosom. Holding Ann’s leg shoulder high, she forced the redhead to hop on her other foot struggling to maintain her balance. Then with a wicked smile, Yvonne again began launching kicks at her hapless target and this time Ann couldn’t dodge or pivot, only cry out in pain as she got hammered over and over by Yvonne’s merciless flying feet until her leg gave way beneath her and she tumbled to the plush carpet.

Releasing the redhead's raised leg, Yvonne leaped into the air and came crashing down with both feet on Ann's breasts, bringing an agonized howl from the Swede. As Yvonne rolled off to one side, Ann sat bolt upright, swaying back and forth in a sitting position, her face showing how badly she’d been stunned by the pain. Yvonne rolled over and sat on the floor behind Ann, then gleefully snaked her legs around Ann’s waist just below her ribcage. Ann’s sudden scream of pain sent shudders up the spines of the assembled spectators as Yvonne's glamourous gams, toned and sculpted by years of professional ballet, crushed the redhead in a merciless vice with a force like nothing she’d ever felt before.

"No...nooooooo...oh, noooooooooooooo..." Ann moaned as the pressure tightened, her expression one combining both defiance and disbelief as her tears streaked her makeup.

Yvonne leaned back on her elbows and smiled as if this was no more strenuous than sunning herself on the beach. Yvonne knew it wouldn't be much longer before Ann's ribs began to crack and Ann knew it too…but she couldn't let it happen so, in desperation, she twisted her torso slightly...not enough to escape, just enough to give her the leverage she needed to drive her elbow back into the brunette's exposed pubic mound! Yvonne, not expecting the blow, took the full impact and her yowl of agony was soul-shattering!

Yvonne’s legs fell limp, allowing Ann to frantically scramble away, coming to a rest in a far corner of the spacious room hugging her ribs, which felt as if they were on fire. Both women needed to rest, to marshal their strength but they couldn't afford to give the other time to revive as well, so they each forced themselves to start crawling toward the other. As soon as they were within reach, they snarled like jungle cats as they lunged and began to tear at one another's hair.

After more than a minute of hair-pulling, Yvonne worked one hand free of Ann's strawberry mane and whipped her open hand across Ann’s cheek. WHACK! Ann responded with a SLAP of her own, and for the next few moments the sickening sound of flesh cracking on flesh echoed through the room accompanied by the grunts, growls and sobs of the two women.

But neither could continue this savage pace for long and Ann made her bid for victory by first, raking her nails across Yvonne’s eyes. Yvonne screeched in pain and frantically rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her vision, leaving an opening for Ann who buried her fist deep into the brunette's taut abs and driving all the air from Yvonne's lungs with a loud, “UNNNGH!

The Swede knew she had to gamble all on a make or break move or miss the opportunity! Moving with renewed vigor, Ann pulled Yvonne down and wrapped her muscular thighs around her head. Ann began pouring every last ounce of her remaining power into the headscissors as Yvonne’s feet flailed and kicked frantically, her heels beating a rhythmic tattoo on the floor as her fist pummeled Ann’s thighs; then when that failed, she raked her nails across tender flesh. Ann moaned in pain, yet refused to release her hold.

"Give up, dammit!" Ann rasped; a demand, but also a plea.

Ann knew she couldn’t maintain such awesome pressure long, and if Yvonne managed to survive, there’d be little the Swede could do to resist her counterattack. In her desperation, Yvonne sensed a glimmer of hope as she felt Ann's leg muscles spasm, then tremble. Ann was weakening! If she could hold out jus a little longer, Yvonne knew; the match would be hers.

The terrible tableau continued as the clock ticked off the minutes. The labored breathing of both women was the only audible sound in the room, except when it was punctuated by their exhausted moans. Ann squeezed her eyes tight shut and bit her bottom lip as she forced her ravaged body to give more than it had to give. Yvonne's face grew red, then purple, her eyes little more than slits.

Finally, in a voice heavy with pain yet rife with fury, Yvonne gasped, "You...bitch..." then went limp.

Ann let loose a humorless "Ha!" just as her own body betrayed her.

Both unconscious beauties had to be untangled from each other before they were carried back to their rooms, where both were tended to by a physician from the audience. It had been a titanic struggle, one which marked the opening shot in what would become one of Hollywood's bitterest feuds. But, in the minds of the many who were privileged enough to witness it, none of their subsequent battles would ever again be so magnificent as that first battle between Ann and Yvonne that night!

Continue to the 1963 rematch! 1