Pink & Lindsay Lohan vs Jessica Biel & Rosario Dawson


“Why the hell isn’t she picking up her phone?” muttered an anxious Pink as she was trying to get in touch with Lindsay. All it was doing was ringing. She had tried to call and text her several times during the night. She was also pacing the suite that she was sharing with Lindsay. Jenny McCarthy had booked it with the intent of having Pink keep an eye on Lindsay and right now she wasn’t doing a good job of it. Pink didn’t want to call Jenny, because if she did and told Jenny what happened, Jenny would rip her a new hole. Pink decided to start calling club managers that she knew and club going friends in NYC to see if any of them have spotted Lindsay. She was striking out with each of her calls.

After a frustrating half hour and nearly a dozen calls, there’s a knock at the door. Pink quickly turns her head to the door, “…Joey, gotta go. Thanks for your help man.” Pink hangs up the phone and makes her way to the door muttering angrily on the way, “That better be you bitch.” Pink checks the peephole and sighs when she sees Lindsay on the other side of the door. She opens the door to see a smiling and slightly disheveled Lindsay.

“HIC…hey babe, how you…HIC…doing? Miss me?” said Lindsay with a huge smile on her face and a bit of a giggle.

“GET YOUR ASS IN HERE.” Snapped Pink as she grabbed Lindsay by her shirt and pulled her into the sweet. The door quickly closed behind her and once it did, Pink slammed her against the door. Lindsay wasn’t in much of a position to struggle in her drunken state. “Don’t you babe me Lindsay. Where the HELL were you all night Lindsay? It’s pretty clear you’re drunk from that stench coming from you…” Pink grabs Lindsay’s chin, looks in her glazed eyes and takes another good whiff before releasing the chin' “…and you’re high too. You do remember we have a match tomorrow night?”

Lindsay giggled and looked at Pink with a glazed look, “HIC…relax Pink. This isn’t my…HIC…first rodeo. I’ve been in tag matches in…HIC…other leagues and won a few matches. Trust me.”

“Trust you? I’m lucky you didn’t get knocked up tonight by some loser looking to score who still looks up to you or worse yet, having you in handcuffs heading back to the clink or rehab.” said a skeptical Pink as release Lindsay from the hold on her shirt.

Lindsay scoffs at Pink, “You have to learn to trust me Pink. You think I want to keep screwing things up? Jenny took a chance with me and I’m not about to screw that up. I need the ABA.” With that, Lindsay walks past Pink raising her left hand towards Pink’s face and shaking her head. As she heads to her bedroom, she mutters to herself, “Un-fucking-believable. I didn’t sign up for this shit.” Pink sighed and shook her head in disbelief as Lindsay headed to her room. She wondered to herself how they were going to win the next day.

The next day at the Knickerbocker Arena, both sets of girls arrived at the arena in separate entrances and went straight to their locker rooms. They did it so that there wouldn’t be any backstage fights. Both sets of girls watched the Williams sisters take on and defeat Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova. As they watch the other girls clear out the ring, Marina Sirtis came to each of their locker rooms to tell them to make final preparations before being called to the ring. Both pairs of girls were nervous as the time was at hand for the tag team match.

Pink looked over to Lindsay who was stretching her neck, “You better be ready Lindsay.”

Lindsay smirked and looked over to Pink, “I’m a little hung over and a little loopy, but I’m ready.”

“I hope so.” sighed Pink.

A moment later, both teams were called to the ring. The first team to be introduced was Jessica Biel and Rosario Dawson. They were introduced to a medley of Jennifer Lopez songs from her ‘Rebirth’ and ‘Love?’ CDs. Jessica Biel and Rosario Dawson entered from opposite sides of the stage and met in the middle. The crowd cheered loudly for them as they came out. They smiled at each other as they met in the middle. Each had on a pair of tight blue jeans, a tank top and knee-high boots. As they started walking down the ramp to the ring, Rosario leaned in and whispered in Jessica’s ear, “I got your back Jess.” and gave a wink as Jessica looked at her. Both girls shook the hands of their fans on the way to the ring.

Seconds after the medley of Jennifer Lopez, Pink’s song “Get the Party Started” blared on the speakers. She came out onto the ramp wearing her garter, bra and panties Lady Marmalade outfit minus with the hat and bracelets. The crowd cheered for her as she appeared on stage. She did a little dance for them on the stage before walking down the ramp and shaking their hands. When she got to the ring, she got on the edge of the apron and didn’t enter the ring. She was going to wait for Lindsay to show up before entering the ring.

Rosario made a charge at Pink stopping just short of the ropes making Pink jump off the edge of the ring. Rosario then giggled as she took a step back. The look on Pink’s face showed she wasn’t too amused with Rosario’s fake out.

A second later “Rumors” started playing on the speakers. Lindsay appeared on stage momentarily in a pair of jeans, calf high boots and a skin-tight shimmering short-sleeve top that looks like she might wear it at a night-club. She got mixed reviews from the crowd, but more cheers than boos from the crowd. She walked down the aisle and shook the hands of her fans. Lindsay made it to the ring and stood next to Pink. Pink and Lindsay jumped up to the apron at the same time and cautiously entered the ring.

The two pairs of girls watched each other as the circled each other like two pairs of predators. The referee called both teams to the center of the ring and explained the rules. After the referee explained the rules the two pairs of girls backed away to their corner and spoke briefly.

Jessica presses her advantage by sending a couple quick jabs followed by a hook to Pink’s head. Pink is able to block to the two jabs and ducks underneath the hook. As Pink comes back up from ducking, she sends a punch into Jessica’s gut. She goes for an uppercut, but Jessica swerves her head out of the way and takes a step back as Pink brings the punch up. Pink did the uppercut knowing it stood little chance of connecting; she did it to keep Jessica on the defensive. Pink sends a left kick to Jessica’s ribs. Jessica grunts as Pink’s foot connects with her ribs. However, Jessica is somehow able to trap Pink’s leg against her side. Pink tries to yank her foot free from Jessica’s hold but Jessica quickly kicks Pink’s stomach making her hunch over. Jessica yanks on Pink’s leg before letting go. The yank on her foot makes Pink come towards Jessica. As Pink comes towards her, Jessica sends a left hook into Pink’s jaw. Pink’s head and upper torso jerk to the left from the punch.

Jessica hooks her right leg behind Pink’s right, grabs both of Pink’s shoulders and shoves them tripping Pink over her leg and planting her on her back. Jessica slams her foot into Pink’s stomach a second after Pink falls to the mat making Pink’s body spasm and to grunt from the stomp. Pink holds her stomach and rolls away from Jessica before she could do any more damage to her.

Jessica quickly goes to her corner to tag Rosario into the ring. Rosario carefully but quickly comes over to Pink. As she gets closer, Pink brings both her legs together and sends her feet towards Rosario’s stomach. Rosario deftly moves aside and sends a kick to Pink’s ribs making Pink grunt again. Rosario follows that up with a guillotine leg drop to Pink’s stomach, but the desired effect was lessened as Pink still had her arms over her stomach.

Lindsay was yelling out encouragement to Pink from their corner. Rosario scoffs at Lindsay’s encouragements as she grabbed Pink’s hair and got to her feet bringing Pink up with her. Rosario sends Pink hurdling to the rope and as Pink gets there, Lindsay reaches out and slaps Pink’s back to tag herself into the match. As Pink bounces off the rope towards Rosario, she’s met with a dropkick sending her once again to the mat.

Before Rosario can get to her feet, Lindsay is on top of her with a straddle and sending one rapid right punch after another to her head. Jessica tries to get into the ring after seeing Lindsay get in, but the referee intercepts her telling her that Lindsay legally tagged into the ring. As much as Jessica tried to protest what the referee was say, he was staying between her and the action. After not getting anywhere with the ref and after the referee threatened to toss her from the match, Jessica huffs and gets back out onto the apron.

After the referee turned back around, he sees Lindsay has Rosario against the ropes sending karate chops to her chest and Pink is on a knee on the apron. After a couple of karate chops, Lindsay sends a knee to Rosario’s stomach making her grunt and double over. Lindsay promptly puts Rosario into a headlock and grabs her pants wit her free hand and after some struggling, Lindsay suplexes Rosario. Rosario grunts from the suplex arches her back and puts her hand on her aching back. Lindsay bounces off the ropes and as she got close to Rosario, she goes to drop an elbow on her chest. At the last second, Rosario rolls out of the way.

They each get to their knees, with Lindsay getting to her feet first. Lindsay kicks Rosario’s ribs as she tries to get to her feet. Rosario grunts and staggers back to the ropes. Lindsay stalks her like a predator with a prey as she closes in on Rosario. She sends another kick to Rosario’s stomach, but this time Rosario blocks the kick and sends a quick one of her own to Lindsay’s stomach. Lindsay grunts, holds her stomach and hunches over from the kick. Rosario follows up with a roundhouse kick to Lindsay’s head spinning her around and knocking her down to a knee. Rosario walks around to Lindsay’s right side and sends a kick to her head. Lindsay is able to block the kick, but is forced to roll onto her back. Rosario goes for a stomp of Lindsay’s head, but Lindsay rolls away once again. Lindsay rolls some more before getting to her knees near the ropes.

Rosario heads back to her corner and tags Jessica back into the match. Lindsay looks over at Pink who’s shaking her head and waves for her to stay in.

Lindsay looks back at Jessica who is practically on top of her. As Lindsay turns to face Jessica, there’s a fist coming at her. At the last second, Lindsay ducks underneath the punch. Right after Lindsay ducks, Jessica brings a knee up into Lindsay’s stomach making Lindsay grunt and stagger back a couple steps. Jessica follows up the knee with a roundhouse kick to Lindsay’s head, but Lindsay ducks underneath the kick. Lindsay jumps in the air and drop kicks Jessica. Both do a roll before getting to their feet and circle each other.

Jessica rushes Lindsay with a flurry of punches hoping to catch her off guard and capitalize and some of her weariness. Lindsay starts to back peddle towards the ropes and block or swat away most the punches from Jessica. As Jessica is preoccupied with punches towards Lindsay’s head and chest, Jessica doesn’t see Lindsay’s kick coming to her stomach. Jessica stops her attack and hunches over from the kick. Lindsay sends another kick to Jessica’s stomach followed several of her own punches to her head forcing her away from the ropes.

Lindsay turns and starts to head back to her corner to tag Pink into the match. Jessica takes a step and launches herself at Lindsay’s back to tackle her to prevent her from tagging out. However, Just as Jessica tackles Lindsay both Pink’s and Lindsay’s hands were stretched out completing the tag.

Pink comes in and pulls Jessica up by the hair and throws her into the corner. Pink lowers her shoulder and starts to ram it into her stomach. Lindsay slowly gets to her feet and onto the apron. As she stands on the apron, she pulls Jessica’s hair back onto the turnbuckle and rapid fire punches her face. The referee starts to give Pink and Lindsay a warning about their illicit double team, but they are ignoring the ref.

Seeing Jessica get double teamed and their disregard for the ref, Rosario bolts from her corner and kicks Pink’s stomach. Pink grunts from the kick and staggers into the ropes. Rosario starts to wail on Pink before she could fight back. Rosario knees Pink in her gut and as she doubles over, Rosario puts her into a headlock and DDT’s her. Rosario gets back to her feet to help Jessica with Lindsay. Rosario first tries to jump over Jessica to get at Lindsay (maybe not the best idea). Lindsay sees Rosario jump at her, releases Jessica’s hair and jumps off the apron. Rosario quickly slides out of the ring to chase after Lindsay.

As Rosario goes after Lindsay, Jessica drops to her knees before falling to the mat. Both Pink and Lindsay hold themselves and groan in pain as they lay on the mat mere inches from each other. The crowd is cheering for the girls to get back to their feet and fight on. It takes the girls a moment before they get to their hands and knees.

On the outside, Rosario is still chasing Lindsay around the ring and as she does, Lindsay slides into the ring. Lindsay takes a quick look at Jessica and kicks her stomach to flip her onto her back. Jessica screams loudly from the kick as her stomach has taken its toll. The referee points his finger in Lindsay’s face and gives her a warning and as he does that, Rosario tackles her to the mat, grabs her hair with one hand and starts to wail on her with the other. The referee tries to pull these two girls apart from each other and get them to their corners. The referee is successful in separating the two and getting between them, but the two are still trying to kick or punch each other.

Seeing her opportunity with Jessica on her back next to her, Pink goes for the cover and awaits the referee. After what seemed forever and definitely covering Jessica long enough for the win, Pink gets to her feet and tugs on the referee’s shoulder, “Where the fuck were you ref? I just pinned Jessica.” screamed Pink. The referee shrugged his shoulders and points to Lindsay and Rosario telling her that they interrupted the match. Pink screamed back, “I don’t give a fuck about them! Jessica and I are the fighters you should be worried about.”

As Pink is yelling at the referee, Jessica is able to get to her knee behind Pink and uppercuts her pussy from behind making her scream hellishly and double over. Right after the uppercut, Jessica brings her arm up between Pink’s legs again and rolls her over into a small package pin. Pink tries to kick out of it, but Jessica has her pinned down well. The referee comes in for the pin count and as he gets to two, Lindsay steps in and kicks Lindsay off of Pink. The referee jumps up and gets back into Lindsay’s face and tells her off about interfering.

Jessica and Pink each struggle to get to their knees with Jessica getting their first. Seeing the referee distracted by Lindsay, Rosario comes in and kicks Pink’s stomach sending her to her back. Rosario brings Pink to her feet and sends her hurdling to the ropes and watches as Pink hits the ropes and starts to come back. Seeing what’s happening behind the ref, Lindsay pushes him out of the way and charges Rosario tackling her to the ground. Lindsay and Rosario are rolling on the mat punching and kicking each other before falling out of the ring hitting the hard mats on the outside. The two of them hit the mats hard and each fall to their backs groaning in pain.

The one thing Lindsay couldn’t see was that Jessica was getting to her feet when Lindsay charged and tackled Rosario. As Pink was coming back off the ropes, Jessica was on her feet. She quickly spun around and sent a right boot right into Pink’s jaw upending her and sending her to the mat. Pink is knocked out from the kick and Jessica could tell. Jessica stands over Pink and places her right foot between Pink’s breasts as she flexes. The referee comes and administers the three count. The referee then calls for the bell and announces Jessica Biel and Rosario Dawson as the victors.

Jessica makes her way to the outside of the ring where Rosario is and helps her to her feet. They each kick Lindsay several times each before heading back to their locker room. Seeing Pink and Lindsay in the condition that they are in, the referee calls the medics to come check them out and help them from the ring.

They are each brought to the on-site medical facilities to be checked out by the doctors. Jenny is in one of the suites already going over her complaints to the league about the refereeing in this match. She wasn’t too happy, since after all she did see Pink cover Jessica for the win. Technically the referee wasn’t there to see it, but she knows the argument they’ll make. She’ll show them the video to prove her case and get better refereeing in the matches.