Taken From the August Rage Page Dream Passages feature
Cathreine Zeta Jones defeats Salma Hayek to become War Queen

Salma Hayek vs. Catherine Zeta Jones: This is a long awaited fight here at Celebrity Pro Wrestling. These women are so equal in size, strength and experience. Lately Salma has gotten the spotlight because of her high profile among the female fight circuit. She had accused Cat of eluding her ever since she lost the role in Zorro to her. And now Salma, the Latin Spitfire will meet the Welsh Witch in the squared circle.

Salma has made her way to the ring, dressed in a revealing one piece black outfit which leaves most of her sides revealed and seems to be interwoven at the waist. She wears high gloss vinyl wrestling boots and her long dark curly hair worn loose. Cat enters the area wearing a long black trench coat with Z emblazoned on the back and a gaucho hat which infuriates Salma as she hangs on the ropes inviting Cat in as she takes in the crowd. Cat gestures to Salma to come out but referee, Demi Moore restrains her. Cat removes her coat on the outside revealing a two piece black outfit trimmed in white piping and black wrestling shoes contrasted only with white laces and socks. Like Salma, she wears her long dark hair loose and with curls. She quickly ascends the steps and the two go at it before the bell can ring.

They pummel each other viciously for a couple of minutes with fists, kicks and hairpulls. Demi separates them many times and each time they wipe their faces and look themselves over for blood. But neither lets anything detract them from each other. They now lockup in traditional wrestling holds. Both are impressive with their knowledge of holds and manage to match each other hold for hold. Both try for sleeper holds early but can't hold onto them. Going through a series of bearhugs, bodyslams, scissors, armbars, leglocks, either seems to gain a clear advantage as each sustains the others punishment and gives back as well. Fists to the face and kicks intermingle with holds like head and bodyscissors. The scissors seem to be the longest duration in holds as both seem to enjoy both the pain and pleasure of being trapped and trapping the other in their long ample legs.

The only thing to break their concentration was the sudden appearance ringside of Leonor Varela who recently played Cleopatra, taunted both of them. Dismissing her, both seemed to only go at each other harder. The only time one of them really got upset with her was when Leonor tried to take Cat's coat which she had laid under the ring. Leonor threw it down and Salma capitalized on Cat's momentary distraction getting her in a rollup. Cat kicked out easily. Leonor was removed from ringside by among others, Leelee Sobieski who also recently played another woman warrior, Joan of Arc. Paying no attention to the struggling Leonor and Leelee Cat and Salma battled on. Now wrestling hard for nearly twenty minutes both were showing signs of the battle in bruises and heavy breathing. Hurt and exhausted neither refused to give a quarter but both were starting to make some mistakes.

Holding each other in a bearhug cheek to cheek they are too close for an effective headbutt but both try and eventually release. Salma bounces off the ring ropes and connects with a clothesline that bloodies Cat's lip and knocks her to her hands and knees. Salma goes for a sleeper but Cat wrests out of the hold jerking her off. A short clothesline has Salma on her back but Cat lifts her up by the wrist and throws her to the ropes. Salma tries to bounce off and use the ropes for leverage but she missteps and goes over the top hitting her back on the ring apron and getting her wrists trapped between the top and middle ropes.

Salma is hurt as she hangs helplessly, her feet over a foot off the ground. Cat starts to pummel her forehead and realizes the predicament Salma is in and what a gift this is to her. Cat exits the ring and continues her assault on Salma outside. Salma has her left hand released but her right is still trapped. She tries to fend off Cat as she pummels her with fists on the ring apron. Cat is having a heyday beating on Salma who can only flail. She headbutts her stomach as she then swings her off the apron letting her fall back hitting the small of her back on the hard canvas edge. Cat notices that Salma is freeing herself and she quickly goes to her coat. Pulling out a pair of handcuffs she jumps up and locks the right hand to the top rope and deposits the key down her front. A horrified Salma fights frantically flailing away now helpless. Cat takes in the crowd as a mixture of boos and cheers eggs her on.

Cat strikes at Salma at will bruising her face and causing her lips and nose to trickle blood. She takes pleasure in striking her with heart punches and punches to the side and armpits at the exposed area of her arm that is dangling. Short stinging jabs has Salma crying out in pain. Salma tries to fight back with her legs and free arm and delivers some effective kicks, one or two that cause Cat to double over. Cat retaliates by trapping her free arm once again in the ropes then grabbing a folding metal chair and whamming it across Salma's legs, her knees getting the brunt of the impact. Again the sound of metal hitting flesh has Salma with a pained expression now just dangling, her legs as limp as the rest of her. A third attempt is thwarted when Leonor again interferes grabbing the chair. Cat holds on as Leonor drops to her butt on the floor and Cat pummels her with the chair till she manages to escape out the exit for good.

Cat goes back to survey her handiwork shoving away a ring official with a medical bag and Demi Moore who has unsuccessfully tried to get Salma loose. She pummels them with metal chairs then reaches into the bag pulling out a pair of paramedic shears. She hits Salma in the stomach with a loaded fist then a headbutt. Then taking the shears she cuts her suit at the leg openings then the laces of her boots, then the top of the suit. The tight fitting suit nearly pops off as Salma's breasts do manage to pop out of their constraints and her thighs relax from the elastic hold. Cat bites and claws at the exposed breasts and then steps back to enjoy the sight of Salma dangling there with her suit barely hanging on like rags.

Cat jumps up to the apron and taking the blunt edged shears lays the blade across the hairline of Salma's forehead pressing down till crimson flows and she does it again and again till she makes a crude Z. She bites at the wound and pounds on it with her fist as Salma passes out from the beating and blood loss. Cat cuts some of Salma's long locks tossing the hair to the floor and mat making sure Salma sees it but whether she's aware or cares at this point is unknown. With the last handful of cut tresses thrown to the floor Cat throws down the scissors which clank on the cement. Cat once again jumps to the arena floor hitting her a couple last times in the stomach as she is restrained long enough for a security guard to jump up and unfasten the cuffs with his own key. Cat makes a display of trying to break through to get to Salma but smiling she instead takes in the crowd with a victorious gesture parading around as Salma is put on a litter. As she is being wheeled off Cat suddenly jumps into the ring and off the side onto the litter onto Salma knocking her and the litter over which has Salma fastened to it. This one last attack on helpless Salma satisfies Cat as she now exits the ring victorious and Salma exits to the hospital.

To Go The Story For Jones Vs Hayek II

Stone Rage Brings you A Bonus Story!


Catherine Zeta Jones (91%) annihilates Salma Hayek (9%) Catherine Zeta Jones bounces in her corner as Salma Hayek comes down the runway. She has heard producers say this phrase many times before, “I need a dark, sultry seductress for this part, get Salma Hayek, and if she’s not available, then Catherine Zeta Jones.” Today she can prove she is Salma’s superior. Cat continues to bounce, causing her tits to jiggle in the brown suede bra and matching form fitting pants she is wearing. The fans roar as Salma enters the ring, “They too will be mine, before the night is over”, Cat thinks.

Salma is uncommonly tense for this match. She too realizes the effect it can have on her acting career. “Cat is the one person I can never let defeat me” she thinks.

At the opening bell Salma drops Cat with a running drop kick. Salma continues her attack but is surprised when Cat plows her fist deep into her stomach. Cat rises from her knees as Salma doubles over momentarily before being blasted back straight by a powerful uppercut. Cat quickly kicks a back pedaling Salma in the stomach before plowing through her with a clothesline. Salma rises only to be sent back to the mat by a right hand. Salma is still dazed as she scramble to her feet again only to be Irish whipped into the ropes, catching an elbow in the face on the rebound. Salma is slowly trying to rise but is met while she is on her knees. Cat hooks her head under her arm and lifts the Mexican up into a suflex. Cat holds Salma for a long time before falling back to get the maximum impact. Salma howls in pain, but Cat quickly snatches her up and again whips her into ropes to catch her with her own drop kick right in Salma’s mouth.

The audience wildly applauds Catherine’s skill, as she continues the assault, lifting Salma in the air, and dropping her crotch first on her knee. Before her victim could fall, Cat wraps her arms around Salma, and slams her to the mat with a belly-to-belly suflex. Salma is in deep trouble, and thinks of a way to counter this lethal assault, but her thoughts are interrupted by a leg drop across her throat. Salma is moaning in anguish as Cat locks her ankles under her arms and spins Salma around in a giant swing. She releases Salma allowing her to painfully land in a heap in the corner. A chant of “Cat, Cat, Cat..." begins in the rafters.

Desperate to escape the thrashing, Salma rolls out of the ring. The referee prevents Cat from following, and starts the count. Cat pushes him out of the way and goes after Salma. She snatches Salma from behind and slings her into the guard rail. Salma is then hurled into the ring steps. Catherine mercifully rolls the Mexican back into the ring. The dizzy champion is once again whipped into the ropes, and this time is met with a crushing powerslam in the center of the ring. Cat...Cat...Cat... the chant grows louder. Finally, the dominant challenger sends Salma into the ropes again, picks her up, spins her like a baton and slams her on her knee with a tilt-the-world backbreaker. Salma bounces off the knee and lands face down on the mat in tears. Catherine takes time to acknowledge the roaring crowd, as the "Cat, Cat, Cat" chant is deafening. She mounts each turnbuckle to edge on the chant. She can take all the time she wants, her opponent is not going anywhere. Salma is crying, face down on the mat, thinking, “This can’t be happening, and especially not to Catherine Zeta Jones!”

Catherine returns her attention to Salma. She pulls her to her feet with a handful of hair. Cat holds her there, displaying her prey to the crowd. Salma’s arms are dangling by her side, face stained with tears, and her jelly legs could not support her weight without Cat’s help. Cat picks Salma up into a fireman’s carry onto her shoulders, and spins her around in a airplane spin before dumping her to the mat. Cat unhooks the bikini top that gained Salma fame in the movie “From Dusk to Dawn”, and tosses it into the crowd. She does likewise to the bikini bottoms, leaving her foe nude. Cat once again pulls her conquest to her feet, displaying her nude lifeless form to the roaring crowd. Cat finishes Salma with a reverse DDT. Cat next locks Salma in a sharpshooter and bears down with the hold. Poor Salma is yelling hysterically and screams,”Yesss....I...give” at the top of her lungs, before the referee had a chance to ask. He calls for the bell, but Cat continues the pressure.

Fiendishly Cat asks, “Who’s the world’s sexiest women?” with a chuckle.

“You are” pleads Salma.

“Who’s the top actress?” asks Cat.

“You are please...” begs Salma.

Finally, Cat releases her conquest and accepts the cheers, and championship belt, as Salma cries uncontrollably in the center of the ring. Cat exceeded her wildest dreams today, taking Salma’s belt, her fans, and her dignity. In one final indignity to Salma, Cat sends her sailing over the top rope, out of the ring. Salma lands hard on the concrete floor, and rolls 7 feet up the aisle. Cat steps on the crying girl’s chest as she walks back to the dressing room.